Do you ever feel like sometimes you’d be happier if you didn’t have that nagging relationship looming overhead, the one that is filled with negativity and judgement? If you’re feeling like that then maybe it’s time you need to re-evaluate your relationships.
For a long time, I didn’t do this, and I ended up caring less about myself and more about the other person, who wasn’t treating me so great in the grand scheme of things. As a result, I ignored my own needs. As I developed my way of thinking to be more linear with a positive mindset, I learned that while selfishness can be a bad thing it can also be crucial. And when it comes to your relationships with others, how you and they interact with one another, it’s needed – so you don’t lose yourself in the toxicity that relationships sometimes become.
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The people in your life should be uplifting, supportive, positive (for the most part) beings who help you see the brighter side of things, who make you laugh, who make you feel good. Are all your relationships like that?
If you answer no, then maybe you need to re-evaluate your relationships with people. I had to do this recently. Yes, it sucked and definitely wasn’t easy. But, I was beginning to realize that every time I talked to this individual, I felt bad. I felt sad. I felt frustrated.
And I didn’t like it. The truth is, there are people that you’re just not going to jive with and other times people are just toxic – sometimes it may even happen later on in a relationship. It doesn’t always happen right away. But when it does, you’re not left with a fulfilment. Instead, it drags you down like ten-thousand pound water weights strapped to your legs. And it’s not fun.
I’m here to say, that it’s okay if you need to re-evaluate your relationships so you can be happier. And I’m not saying drop someone out of your life just because you had one little argument. I’m saying that if 9 times out of 10 you’re second guessing it, feeling badly, or something in the like, that you take some time to ask yourself if it’s worth.
Are you own feelings, your own self-preservation worth it?
Before you can re-evaluate things, you need to know what to look for, what makes a fulfilling relationship compared to one that is toxic. Knowing them, along with understanding your feelings (Are you feeling good or a bad about your relationship with the person in question?), might help you piece things together.
Because you deserve the best.
You deserve someone who spreads positivity, who encourages you, who enhances your life in the moments you interact, who lifts you up, who asks about you, who’s honest, who cares.
If you’re second-guessing your relationship (and these reasons may be why), maybe you need to re-evaluate your relationships…
- They constantly criticize what you do, often pointing out your mistakes without giving you an encouraging way to better yourself.
- They point out small flaws and imperfections.
- They often draw the focus back to themselves when you discuss things, in a way that appears they are self-absorbed.
- They purposely say things to make you feel guilty and ashamed of yourself.
- They offer help, in turn to complain about it at later times or throw it in your face.
- They’re controlling, often not wondering or thinking about what you need.
- They victimize themselves, even if they aren’t the victim.
- They cross boundaries, often making you feel uncomfortable in situations or places where you should have a safe haven.
- They think that what they want, need, and feel overrides your own needs.
- They leave you feeling mentally battered, upset, and let down.
- They often steal your peace of mind with the way they act.
- They’re not accountable for their actions, or the way you make them feel.
- They often gossip, talking about others in a negative light.
- They lie to you.
- They try to control you.
- They are constantly focused on drama.
Of course, these things are traits that people may show from time to time, but if they’re happening consistently then you may need to re-evaluate things for your own happiness. The most important thing here is that they aren’t taking your happiness from you and affecting your well-being.
Remember, you deserve the best. We all work hard, we’ve all been through struggles, some that we’re still going through or overcoming, so it’s important that we surround ourselves with people who are understanding and are good to us. It’s all part of being good to yourself. It’s a part of loving yourself.
Really, in a nutshell, it’s self-care. So, next time you talk to that friend or hangout with your relative and you leave feeling less-than (or mentally exhausted), consider thinking things over. Ask yourself if it’s worth it. Is it worth feeling badly after every time you talk? Is it worth listening to them criticize you over and over? Is it worth hearing your own opinions and dreams dug into the ground?
I hope this post, in the very least, has helped you be more aware of how the people in your life are treating you. At the most, I hope you’re able to clear out the negativity in your life that you don’t need so you can feel a little more of the love that surrounds you!
Don’t hesitate to reach out if you’re struggling in one of your relationships. <3 If this post spoke to you, and you think it’ll speak to someone else, share away!